In my family we give each other exactly what we want. What's so bad about that? It is a lot of stress for someone else to pick exactly what you want when you don't really "need" anything. In my family we pass out lists that include what we want, where you can get it (sale or otherwise), our sizes (if applicable), and sometimes we go and try things on, buy something for ourselves on behalf of the "gift giver," and hand it over to be wrapped. Then we all act surprised at Christmas, but really we aren't. The husband thinks it is ridiculous, but has really come around to our side of things this year. I think it is because he got to go pick out his own gift and has a cool GPS now.
In his family you never tell people want you want and they will never really tell you what they want. That would "take the fun out of it." The unspoken rule of the family is ,"If you really love me and know who I am then you will get the perfect gift." I'm terrible at this. I am also horrible at faking gratitude for a gift that I don't really like or need and it annoys me that we all just go the next day and exchange the gifts that no one liked. Like I said. I am still growing.
So when one has 2 families each with different gift giving strategies you have to be prepared when you have a baby. One side of the spectrum: "I know that your baby is 6 months old, but I found this darling outfit in 0-3 and thought he might still be able to wear it." Um. Okay. I really want to grow and keep from being ungrateful so I have been experimenting with various polite replies such as, "Well, he really is wearing 6-12 month clothes now, but maybe the next one will be able to wear it." On the opposite end of the spectrum: "I was browsing through the store and bought 10 of these onesies for your baby, a rain jacket, and a few pairs of pants in various sizes." Now this is great and I feel blessed and grateful, but I have 2 bags full of clothes the kid never even wore. I really can't keep all of these clothes.
It seems that no matter how many boundaries we set, each family ignores us and dotes in different ways on our little boy. My strategy so far has been to accept the gifts graciously, consign or give away all the "stuff" that I can't possibly use, and pray that when we have another that they won't notice.
That is why I have been busy this last week organizing extra baby clothes for a city wide consignment sale this coming weekend. I have been sorting, tagging, hanging, and grouping. I am pricing these really, really low so that they will sell. Not only do I hope that they sell, but I am praying that perhaps the overabundance of our house will bless a new mom with some clothes that they would otherwise not be able to afford.
I am sure that I will need to do this with toys soon. Any suggestions, thoughts, ideas that can help control the chaos and "crap" that come into my home? Or perhaps just some fun stories that you would like to share to make me feel like I am not the only one?
Here is a picture of the clothes I am dropping off this evening. I know, ridiculous, seeing how I have 2 tubs full of clothes that I am keeping.
4 comments:
oh don't even get me started on differences in gift giving. My family is more like yours - we give ideas knowing that we might get all or some of the ideas and usually my mom will find something special we don't know about in addition to the requests. Aaron's family just buys stuff all year at good will and yard sales but never really takes into consideration if the person will actually like it and tend to ignore the person's interests. Examples: Aaron used to have a set of white leather gloves and I was given camouflage vest one year. Need I say more? Wouldn't be so bad if you could tell the thought was genuinely there. I am trying to find ways to tell people our philosophy on gift giving for our child without sounding ungrateful. We really prefer the less is more approach. Glad to hear someone else struggles with this.
Oh, I was hoping you could tell me more fun gift stories. You have so many good ones. The bright blue chenille sweater with feather boa that was a size too small bought at a petite boutique store in small town Texas is my personal favorite all time gift. I mean how many times are you going to get something like that?
We got lots with Olivia but it starts to taper off with the second.
I'm a classic re-gifter. If she couldn't wear it or I couldn't use it it would go into the babyshower pile. I also used Craigslist and gave some away or would donate to my local thrift shop. I did keep the clothes I really liked and would (possibly) use again for the next baby.
The only funny story I can think of is about style differences in baby clothing.
I'm not too picky of a person when it comes to my children's clothes. I love a cute outfit and definitly have a particular type of style that I buy them, but when it's a gift I usually don't care or put up much of a fuss. However, one year my sweet grandma sent my Offspring the ugliest pink fake-fur coat I had ever seen, complete with ears! She looked like a satanic bunny when she wore it. My grandma was thrilled over it, and thought it was the cutest thing she had ever seen. We were living in NYC at the time so fortunatly I was able to just snap a few shots, send a thank you note and then let the coat sit in the closet until I could muster the heart to get rid of it.
One thing I've learned about gift-giving is most people just appreciate the thanks and don't really care or remember if you use the gift. (At least in my case) If I don't need/like something, I try not to make a big fuss. Send my thanks and then dispose of it as I see fit.
Good luck with the sale! That is a pretty hefty pile.
I am so glad you are a mom before me... you figure everything out, I get to read about it, and bingo, when I have a baby no headache :) XO
Post a Comment