As we put up the decorations our toddler watched and wandered around the Christmas boxes, the baby slept a little and cried a lot as per the new "norm" these days. We've even tried hard core "cry it out" to no avail. The screaming and waking continues. He can roll himself in any direction, but he is going through separations anxiety? Will it end? Maybe? My nerves are frazzled. My mind feels alone in the midst of a beautiful family.
We then took the boys to the mall. The toddler needed new shoes and my body and mind are too weary to make that trek sans husband. The toddler was charming and even tried on a few pair of shoes just to please mommy. We purchased the "dark blu shooos" and ate at the food court. We exchanged some things on our way out to the beginning tunes of upset cries.
We drove home with a full chorus of cries and chatted over the noise.
After we piled the kids in their perspective beds we sat and watched a movie. Blessed decaf coffee. Oh, how I love thee. A warm cup of coffee over a silent night is comforting.
My body felt weary recovering from illness along with overwhelming sleep deprivation. Will I ever get to sleep 8 hours straight again? Maybe? Someday. When I drink and watch I feel that it will come to an end.
The night was a rough one. The babe trumpets in the wee hours with no stopping. The longest I can endure is 4 hours. Four long, long hours for one week. Really, he hasn't slept? Even I find it unbelievable.
Last night, I lasted an hour and woke the husband. He shuffled into the baby's room to rock him. I still couldn't sleep. Will the baby ever figure it out? Will he? Maybe? Someday.
My mind is not capable of even taking a shower in time for church. The baby falls asleep without crying for the first time in a week. I fall onto the sofa and worship with blessed sleep.
What will tonight bring? One never knows. Maybe just maybe I'll wake up in a month and realize that this too has passed.
2 comments:
Oh gracious. I'll keep you in my prayers, Erin. So glad you got a nap, though. I so understand feeling alone, though your surrounded.
I think it is usually the way things like this ease away - slowly. And then some day you look back and realize you really are out of the dark cloud you used to walk around in. You're doing a great job. Hang in there.
Indeed. Hang in there. You are a rock.
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