A Radom Post From the Sleep Deprived

Yesterday we went shopping for Christmas decorations and then put up the Christmas decorations. Mentally as I put up all the "fun" decorations, I find myself trying to make everything as simply muted as possible. After all the Lenten season is just around the corner.

As we put up the decorations our toddler watched and wandered around the Christmas boxes, the baby slept a little and cried a lot as per the new "norm" these days. We've even tried hard core "cry it out" to no avail. The screaming and waking continues. He can roll himself in any direction, but he is going through separations anxiety? Will it end? Maybe? My nerves are frazzled. My mind feels alone in the midst of a beautiful family.

We then took the boys to the mall. The toddler needed new shoes and my body and mind are too weary to make that trek sans husband. The toddler was charming and even tried on a few pair of shoes just to please mommy. We purchased the "dark blu shooos" and ate at the food court. We exchanged some things on our way out to the beginning tunes of upset cries.

We drove home with a full chorus of cries and chatted over the noise.

After we piled the kids in their perspective beds we sat and watched a movie. Blessed decaf coffee. Oh, how I love thee. A warm cup of coffee over a silent night is comforting.

My body felt weary recovering from illness along with overwhelming sleep deprivation. Will I ever get to sleep 8 hours straight again? Maybe? Someday. When I drink and watch I feel that it will come to an end.

The night was a rough one. The babe trumpets in the wee hours with no stopping. The longest I can endure is 4 hours. Four long, long hours for one week. Really, he hasn't slept? Even I find it unbelievable.

Last night, I lasted an hour and woke the husband. He shuffled into the baby's room to rock him. I still couldn't sleep. Will the baby ever figure it out? Will he? Maybe? Someday.

My mind is not capable of even taking a shower in time for church. The baby falls asleep without crying for the first time in a week. I fall onto the sofa and worship with blessed sleep.

What will tonight bring? One never knows. Maybe just maybe I'll wake up in a month and realize that this too has passed.

Baby It's Cold Outside

I have to say that winter's where we live here really are fairly mild compared to the North. Except that we moved from the South where there no wind chill advisories and I never ever wore a coat. S0, today was a bit of a shock. I was all snug in my house slippers and sweater this morning and didn't realize how cold it was. Then I looked outside and there were snow flurries.
Sometime this morning I realized that my 8:30am ultrasound tomorrow morning was supposed to be one of the coldest of the year. The low is predicted to be 4 degrees and who knows what the wind chill will be. Good thing the baby isn't coming until June. By then it will be balmy, the baby won't have to be bundled up, and I can complain about the post-baby hot flashes while remembering January in all of it's coldness.

The Lonely Mover

This week I sat down and realized in a month I'll be moving for the 16th time in 14 years, counting all the places I lived during college. I've found with each move a period of transition and loneliness follows. After each period of transition God has provided a new friendship, new growth, and many blessings.

Four years ago I moved to California and was lonely and blue. Then one day around Christmas all of the sudden we had developed a life time friendship with a couple. We are even Godparents to their kids.

Then they graduated and moved to a different state while we moved to D.C. for the summer. I was lonely in D.C. for about 2 weeks. God faithfully put a group of women in my life that I met almost daily to explore the city. I still keep up with one of these women through the blog world.

After moving back to California I resigned myself to loneliness. Before I even started to dwell in self pity God placed another group of lifelong friends in our pathway. These friends still enrich our lives.

After graduation we moved back to our hometown. The loneliness set in and then God blessed us with a great church group. It was here I met a group of women that helped during my pregnancy and post-partum stage.

Then we moved for the husband's clerkship when the baby was 10 weeks old and I was still going through post-partum depression. I was so overwhelmingly lonely, but God placed me in a mom's group and gave me a friend who I'm going to miss terribly the second we move.

We are now in the process of moving back home. I have friends, but yet I'm now not working full time so there will be a transition that I feel will require some loneliness. I'm looking back at all the moves and lonely times and am not quite as stressed. After all, after each lonely period growth and friendship blossoms.

Womens' Health

I am away from home for the weekend. I am taking a three day course that centers on Womens' Health. There is a incredible need in this area of practice in physical therapy that is shunned and ignored by many. It is a hard area of practice because of the subject matter. Most people grow up not talking about personal bodily things and are embarrassed when they have problems in these areas. A lot of women think certain pain or problems that come from pregnancy, birth, and even with just being a women are normal and live with it. I find it a horrible that the statistics found that 50% of women who have a problem, don't seek out help. Many don't know that much can be done through simple conservative means. It is one of the many reasons that motivates me to take this particular class. I will have to take level II and III in the next 3 years, but at least I'll have the basics to start.

I really don't know of a single male PT who wants to or practices in this area. This morning I was surprised that there was a male on the class roster. He walked into the class and you could feel the resentment and the panic sweep through the room. After all he was an outsider and could never experience post-partum and other female issues. How was he going to do labs with us? Then the instructor informed us that the clinic he worked at was going to start a male health class. His particular area was not in this course, but he needed basic background from this level I course. He wanted the instructor to explain that his sweet little wife had volunteered to be his lab partner. You could almost hear the sigh of relief.

(If anyone has questions or fun random stories that are appropriate for the blog world, feel free to e-mail me after the class. Your probably not alone...especially if you've given birth.)

If You're Bored Watch This

My husband sent me this link. I think we are actually going to pay to go see this movie. Also here is a rap about it. You're welcome.
Note: If you are easily offended please do not watch the rap. It is offensive on many, many levels.