Breaking Free Part 9

Christ is Risen! What a glorious day we have had so far. In the midst of our day of celebration the husband is napping, the baby is napping, and I am taking some valuable quiet time to review the second to last part of my bible study. This particular week was one of my favorites as the emphasis was on the steadfast mind and how we are to make Christ the Lord of our minds.

Day 1: Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you."
Satan is very cunning and deals directly with our thoughts; Mark 4:15, Acts 5:3; 2 Corinthians 11:3.
This day the study went into detail and picked apart the phrases of Isaiah 26:3:
1. "You will keep"- the Hebrew word for keep is nasar meaning "to guard, protect, keep; used to denote guarding a vineyard and fortress." God is the perfect watchman over our minds. (Psalm 139:1-2, 23. Surrendering our thoughts is a safeguard to being given over to a depraved mind. (1 Corinthians 5:5; 1 Timothy 1:20)
2. "in perfect peace"- The Hebrew term is Salom meaning "to be safe, be complete." "It usually denotes a satisfied condition, a state of peacefulness, a sense of well being. This phrase does not mean a perfect mind, but perfect peace within imperfect minds.
3. "him whose mind is steadfast- The Hebrew word for mind is yetser, which means "frame, pattern, image, conception, imagination, thought; device." It is what is formed in the mind (plans and purposes). The Hebrew word for steadfast is Samak meaning "to sustain, to be braced, to lean upon." When temptations come the believer chooses to believe in God's word and act on it.
4. "because he trusts in you"- the Hebrew word for trust is batach meaning "to attach oneself, to confide in, feel safe, be confident, secure."

Day 2: 2 Corinthians 10:5 "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

This day focused on the phrases of 2 Corinthians 10:4-5:

1. "Divine power to demolish strongholds"- The Greek word for demolish is kathairesis meaning "demolition, destruction of a fortress." The original word for stronghold is echo meaning "to hold fast." The derivative is ochuroma meaning "a stronghold, fortification, fortress", "that is used of any strong points or arguments in which one trusts." God's supernatural power is the only power that can tear down the strongholds we have built, whether for comfort or protection, that now have control over us.
2. "We demolish arguments and every pretension"- The Greek word for arguments is logismos meaning "a reckoning, calculation, consideration, reflection." In other words our rationalizations for the continued presence of strongholds in our lives. The word for pretension is hupsoma meaning "something made high, elevated, a high place". In other words strongholds are: a. anything we have put in a higher position besides God in our lives b. things that pretend to provide something we feel we must have, and c. anything that is a tremendous source of pride for the enemy.
3. "that sets itself up against the knowledge of God"- Sets itself up is epairo meaning "to hoist up as a sail, to life up the eyes, to look upon." Satan's goal is to be worshiped. (Isaiah 14;12-14) Satan leads us with deception, but God leads us "with cords of human kindness, with ties of love." (Hosea 11:4)
4. "we take captive every thought"- to take captive come from the Greek word aichmalotizo meaning " a prisoner, captive, to lead captive; by implication, to subdue, bring into subjection."
5. "to make it obedient to Christ"- "Victorious lives flow from victorious thoughts" and "victorious thoughts come from setting our focus on a victorious God."

Day 3: Deuteronomy 33:29 "'Your enemies will cower before you, and you will trample down their high places.'"
The remaining 3 days put emphasis on a 5 step process to take one from captivity of our thoughts to our thoughts being captive to Christ.

1. Recognize the captor - The steadfast mind is not a matter of denial. (Deuteronomy 33:29; 2 Corinthians 10:5). The high places are monuments to idolatry in the OT (2 Kings 12:3; 14:4; 15:4, 35; Numbers 33:50-53; 1 Kings 14:22-23). Many believers who serve God still have high places that they fail to tear down. Just like the OT Kings who failed to tear down the high places, our high places can lead to us being eventually torn down.

2. Stand in Agreement with God: 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Day 4: Hebrews 3:13 "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."

3. Tear down the lies - When we see the sin involved in the stronghold, agree with God, and confess we start to see the lies and the door to our captivity is opened. (2 Corinthians 11:1-2; Galatians 6:1) "Deception is the glue that holds a stronghold together. By the time the stronghold exists, our minds are covered with lies." (John 8:43-45, 32).

4. Put Up the Truth - We still are not totally free after we have confessed. If we just confessed we will soon cycle back into the sin. We need to reprogram our minds with the truth of God's word. (John 8:32; Romans 7:21-23).
An example: Forgiveness of another person who has hurt us: "We want Him (God) to wave a magic wand so we'll never think about him or her again. That's not how God works. He wants to transform and renew our minds (Romans 12:2) so we can think the thoughts of Christ about the person we are forgiving. We will not be free until we adopt the mind of Christ in the matter that has enslaved us."
Some practices that help putting up the truth in the mind: (this was really in Day 5, but it is a review of this step so I am putting it here).
1. Search God's Word for Scriptures. Find scriptures that speak the mind of God to your specific stronghold
2. Write these Scriptures on note cards.
3. Take these Truth Cards where ever you go.
4. Avoid as many forms of deception as possible.

Day 5: Romans 8:6 "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace."

5. Bow thoughts to the Truth - 2 Corinthians 10:3-5: "Take captive every thought" is a present active participle that expresses continuous or repeated action. In other words, we have to keep working on our thought life. This is a continual life long process of "starving the flesh and feeding the spirit. (Romans 8:5-8)

That is all I have time for. There are a lot of details that I left out of this lesson, but I think the overview gives a fair picture. Our last session is Tuesday and then I will review and put a closure on this Bible study. Until the next time.

Breaking Free Part 8

Easter is tomorrow and we are preparing in this household. There are tarts and cookies and other things being baked as I am typing this. Again this seems to be a great weekend to sit quietly and reflect on what Christ has done. As part of it I am reviewing each lesson of my bible study each day and hopefully will have "caught up" with the lessons by the end of the weekend.

Day 1: Isaiah 54:10 "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you."
This day's emphasis was on finding God's unfailing love.

• Psalm 136 - His loving kindness is everlasting.
  
• Romans 8:38-19 - Nothing can separate us from the love of God.
  
• Proverbs 19:22 -the Hebrew word for desire means "a longing" and it come from the word avah meaning "to covet, greatly desire". Everyone desires unfailing love.
  
• Proverbs 20:6 - No human has unfailing love
• 1 John 4:18 - Unfailing love casts out fear

Day 2: Psalm 107:15-16 "Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down the gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron."

This day emphasis was on the freedom of God's unfailing love. Two points are drawn from Psalm 107.
1. God's unfailing love extends to the most rebellious captives and most afflicted fools. Hebrews 12:5-11.

• God allowed them to sit "in darkness and the deepest gloom (v10). The question asked was: Why do you think rebellion could lead to a deeper depression in the life of someone who has experienced closeness with God?
• He subjected them to bitter labor (vs 12).
• He allowed them to stumble (v12).
• He allowed "no one to help" (v12); Psalm 62:1-2,5-7.
  
• He allowed some to suffer affliction (v17).

2. God strives with His captive children until they are free. Psalm 119:67-68; Ezekiel 33:10-11; Luke 7:47.

Day 3: Psalm 90:14 "satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all out days."
This day's emphasis was on the fullness of unfailing love. Finding satisfaction and fullness in Christ is meant for every believer. (2 Peter 1:3) The day was spent going through Ephesians 3:14-21 one phrase at a time:
1. To be rooted and established in love (v. 17). The deeper we are rooted in God's love the less we falter when life hits.
2. To have the power to grasp the colossal love of Christ (v. 18) - Ephesians 3:16 tells us that we get this power through His Spirit.
3. To know Christ's love that surpasses knowledge (v.19).
4. To be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God (v.19)- Psalm 90:14 .

Day 4: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
This day put the empathsis on the failure to believe God's unfailing love. According to Isaiah 43:10 we are to know and believe God. The main portion of the lesson was on 4 evidences of God's love:
1. God tells us He loves us: Deuteronomy 7:8; Psalm 86:5; Psalm 89:31-33.
2. God demonstrates His love for us. Romans 5:8; Isaiah 52:14; 53:10-11; Matthew 27: 32-54; 1 John 4:10.
3. God thinks about us constantly. John 17:24.
4. God testifies to others how He loves us. John 17:23.

Day 5: Hosea 10:12 "'Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until He comes and showers righteousness on you'"
This day put an emphasis on the fruit of unfailing love.
1. The child of God who trusts God's love possesses security in God's leadership. (Exodus 15:13)
2. The child of God who trusts God's love possesses security in her salvation. (Psalm 13)
3. The child of God who trusts God's love possesses security in God's mercy. (Psalm 51:1)
4. The child of God who trust God's love possesses security in His comfort. (Romans 8:38-19; John 15:9)
5. The child of God who trusts God's love possesses security in His defense. (Psalm 143:12; Lamentations 3:59; Psalm 35:1,10,19

Well that is all for now. It is the end of the day and tomorrow will be a bright new day of resurrection.

Breaking Free Part 7

Happy Good Friday everyone! It seems to be the perfect day for quiet time and reflection so I thought I would review week seven of my bible study. Again. These posts are just a basic summary of the homework for my personal use, but feel free to enjoy if you'd like.

Day 1: Isaiah 29:16- "You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'He did not make me'? Can the pot say of the potter, 'He knows nothing'?"
The relationship between God's Word and freedom is found in James 1:22-23. To become free we need to read and correctly respond to God's Word. Since Isaiah has a dual theme of captivity/liberty, it has a lot to say about authority, rule, and God. It is a book that is meant to leave no doubt as to why the nation of Israel was in captivity. Isaiah has these three basic principles throughout:
1. God has the right to rule.
2. God sets a high price for rebellion.
3. God pours out safety and blessing for obedience.
Isaiah 30:8-21
In turn, a rebellious child of God has several characteristics:
1. Doesn't act like a child of God (Isaiah 30:9)
2. Isn't willing to listen to the Lord's instruction (Isaiah 30:9)
3. Prefers pleasant illusions over the truth (Isaiah 30:10-11)
4. Relies on oppression (Isaiah 30:12) (this part discusses unhealthy attachment)

Day 2: Isaiah 30:13-14- "This sin will become for you like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly, in an instant. It will break in pieces like pottery."

God's Word becomes our liberation when we obey it. This day finishes the characteristics of a rebellious child of God:
5. Depends on deceit (Isaiah 30:12; Jeremiah 8:5-6; Proverbs 15:4)
6. Runs from the real answers (Isaiah 30:15-17; Ephesians 6:13; Isaiah 30:12-14)

In Isaiah 30:15 the word "salvation" represents being saved or delivered from any kind of calamity or attack. Eternal salvation requires us to repent, but depends on Christ's sacrifice. We still need help avoiding snares along our way with our walk with God. We need to repent but we also need to turn to God so we can receive the power to overcome the temptation (Acts 3:19). If we continue to act in rebellion to God the protection in our lives crumbles like pottery (Isaiah 30:12-14). We don't lose our salvation, but we do lose protection in order for us to return and trust.

Day 3: Isaiah 46:9- "I am God, and there is no other; I am God and there is none like me."
This day emphasizes God's right to rule. (2 Corinthians 2:12)
1. The Lord is the one and only possessor of true liberty. (Compare John 1:12, Romans 8:15, and 1 Corinthians 2:12)
2. The second step toward freedom is receiving Christ as Savior, thereby receiving His liberating Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:17)
3. The third step toward freedom is yielding to the authority of God. (Ephesians 5:18; Philippians 3:12; Isaiah 61:1). Matthew 26:42, John 4:34, and John 6:38 all record Christ's attitude toward His Father's desires. (John 6:39-40) At the end of this lesson there was an observation exercise over the passage Isaiah 40:12-28;45:5-25; 46:1-13 to gain a greater perspective and respect for God's rule.

Day 4: Isaiah 51:6-"But my salvation will last forever, my righteousness will never fail."
This day emphasizes the fact that God's rule is right (Romans 6:16). The lesson follows Isaiah 51:1-16 and discusses building our trust by stepping out on faith and obeying the Word of God.

Day 5: Isaiah 33:2 "O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress."
This day emphasizes the fact that God's righteous rule applies to everyday living. An obedient life grows from obedient days (Amos 3:3). We will be more fulfilled if we walk with God instead of asking Him to walk with us (Jeremiah 29:11-13).
The lesson discusses the following 5 benefits of a daily walk with God: (Isaiah 33:2-6)
1. God offers us the daily treasure of His strength (v2).
2. God offers us the daily treasure of His sure foundation (v6). (1 Corinthians 3:11)
3. God offers us the daily treasure of wisdom and knowledge (v6). (Isaiah 47:10; Psalm 119:105).
4. God offers us the daily treasure of a fresh morning word (v4). (Isaiah 50:4-11)
5. God offers us the daily treasure of victory (vv7-8).

This day concluded with reading Isaiah 50:10-11 so I will leave you with that.

Until next time.

Breaking Free-Part 6

Life has been busy these past few weeks and just finishing the lessons has taken a chunk of time. Since I haven't found the time to review the lessons as thoroughly as I want, I've put off blogging about it. I figure that at least when the study is over I'll have some free space in my brain, but for now I have two weeks to finish one week of lesson so here is a much delayed review of lesson six.

Day 1: Ashes Instead of Honor: 2 Samuel 13:19 - "Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornamental robe she was wearing. She put her hand on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went"
Isaiah 61:3- "To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness. The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."

This lesson is a study on Tamar who was a daughter of a King. She was violated and remained a desolate woman though still a daughter of a King. She tears her robe and covers herself with ashes and this is the only time in scripture where a woman as opposed to a man covers herself in ashes. Ashes are associated with man's mortality and need for God's mercy. The lesson discusses how we as women mourn over many things including sin, destruction, the future etc. Yet, our lives change in quality by our belief in who and what we are. Unfortunately for Tamar her emotions remained unchanged and she lived as a desolate woman. This lesson concludes with Psalm 45:13-15 and an exhortation to allow God to restore our true identity in Him.

Day 2: To Be A Bride - Isaiah 61:10 -"I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."

It begins with Ephesians. 5:25-33 which explains that marriage is like the relationship between us (the bride of Christ) and the bridegroom and that God created marriage so that we can comprehend this.
The bride follows her bridegroom into the wilderness Jeremiah 2:2;Isaiah 41:18 and the bride of Christ has made herself ready for Christ. (rev 19:4-8) Part of this involves knowing and studying our groom. (Psalm 45:1-15)

Day 3: To Be Beautiful - Song of Songs 4:1 - "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!" Ephesians 5:32 "This mystery is great, but I am speaking in reference to Christ and the church."

The basis of this lesson was to help women realize that the childish dream of their fairy tale comes true in Christ. It explains that in Song of Solomon the lover responds not in a selfish way, but she acts as a mirror and sees herself as her lover sees her. The lesson compares Exodus 33:18-23 with Song of Solomon 2:14 in how Christ hides His own in the cleft of the rock. A main point of the lesson is that Christ sees all the beauty we have and when we walk with Him we become mirrors of how He sees us. (Ecclesiastes 8:1)

Day 4: To Be Fruitful - Isaiah 54:1 - "Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,' says the Lord."

• The first point of the lesson is that barrenness does not imply sinfulness: Luke 1:5-7; Acts 10:15.
• A second point is that "An unhappy woman usually needs a change of heart more than of circumstances."
• A third point of the lesson is that sometimes disappointment in God is a result of small thinking. Isaiah 54:1-5 is an example of how a barren woman can have more "children" than a married one.
  
• A fourth point is that God often applied the physical truths of the OT as spiritual truths in the NT. In this case it is offspring: Genesis 9:1 & Matthew 28:18-19; Exodus 1:6-13 & Acts 8:1-8.
• The fifth point is that older women are supposed to teach the younger Titus 2:3-5, 11-15.

Day 5: To Live Happily Ever After - Matthew 25:21 - "Come and share your master's happiness!" Isaiah 61:1-3

• John 13:3-17 - Christ guarantees that if His followers put into practice what He demonstrates to them they will be blessed.
• John 15:1-11 - Christ promised that the disciples joy would be full if they obeyed Him and continued to abide in His love.
• Biblical joy can come from the awareness of the grace of God. The greek word chara, meaning grace, is used and this word reflects rejoicing and experiencing a depth of joy.
  
• It ends with Matthew 25:21- Christ wants us to enter and share in His joy (NAS)/ happiness (NIV).

Well. That is it for this week. Until next time.

Survival Mom

When reading baby books one might think there are only two main camps of moms. On one side is the "scheduler" mom, and on the other, the "attached" mom. After becoming a mom myself I realize there are many moms that fall in between these two camps. Not only that, there are moms like me out there. I fondly refer to us as "survival moms" or moms who have survived colicky babies. You can recognize one going through it if you look closely. Someone who is sleep-deprived, looking for answers, trying anything, not showing up to things because the baby is still crying,very insecure in why one became a parent, scared to have more children, and if you look deeper you might even find a bit of anger toward God. Or maybe that was just me.

You see, the first 5 months of my (so-far) only child's life was sheer terror. He was colicky and cried hours on end every day and some nights. I had moms on both sides of the spectrum and everywhere in between give me advice. I only remember some of it. I get discouraged when I remember the ones that approached me with what seemed to be an attitude of "you just aren't parenting right," but I also was encouraged by the ones that just came along side of me and said, "I've been there, it passes, and you will feel like you are going to live again."

While in the midst of this terror I moved to a new city. I was angry, resentful of others' perfect children, and scared of any more "advice," but also knew I needed other moms in my life. So, I swallowed some fear and went to a moms group all the while thinking I wasn't going to get anything "spiritual" out of it, but earnestly longing for fellowship with understanding moms. Today I realized that God indeed can teach me things no matter where He puts me.

Let me rephrase that. Today I learned yet again that God always puts you where He knows you need to be and teaches you what you need to learn.

This morning in my moms' group we discussed the first chapter of the book "Sacred Parenting" by Gary Thomas. As I was reading the first chapter of the book this morning (like I said, I wasn't exactly hopeful that I would learn something through a book) God caught my attention. He challenged me with the question, "Why have children?" and then allowed me to see why I was so angry with Him.

You see, these past 9 months no matter where or what my child is doing I have felt like I need the title "Worst Mom in the Whole World." Except that it really isn't about me. It is about God getting the glory. Before, I was reading all the books that said if you do A, B, & C, you will show the world that you are a good parent and you will not fail. Then God put me in the position where I had no control and felt like a failure--our little boy was not responding to A, B, C, or any combination of the above. Instead of figuring out the Secret Code for Perfect Baby Results Every Time, I now understand God wants me to realize that this parenting thing is a process, that parenting and family "challenge us to the very root of our being," and that Christian parenting "invites us parents to purify ourselves, to use the process of raising kids to perfect holiness, and to do this consistently, every day, out of reverence for God." Today God opened up a door to my selfishness and asked me to parent in reverence to Him not only because He commanded it, but because this is the path that He chose for me with the promise that He will always be there to help me to be more than just a survival mom. Because after all isn't it all about Him?

Breaking Free Part 5

If any of you are doing the study with the lectures you'll note that we are actually doing week seven's homework. I am using these posts as a review in order to get my brain to wrap around the details along the way and thus enable me to see the bigger picture of freedom. Let me explain.

I am a detail-oriented person. I like to see all the detail that a project entails to get the bigger picture and go back through so I have the step process in my head. This enables me to start what I need to start and organize in my head. How I cook is a perfect example of how my brain functions. The first time I follow a recipe I do so exactly the way it is written out. After that first time I can see the steps and the basic concept of how the dish is "supposed" to taste, how long I need to cook certain things,and what steps I can overlap. Then I can then change a few variables to apply it more to my family's taste buds, I can organize the steps and the next few times I make that dish it takes half the time. So when I review the lesson I am learning the steps, the bigger picture of God's word, more of what God says, and how God wants me to use it. In essence I am writing out the lesson to review because the more review the deeper it will go into my heart. Hopefully by the end of the series I will grasp more of God's Word and have more freedom to follow where He leads.

The title of week five is "Binding Up the Broken Hearted":

Day 1: Isaiah 61:1 "He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted." This day asks us to explore when we have been broken hearted. The lesson explores examples in scripture where God bound up broken hearts. Genesis 16:1-13, Genesis 39:11-23, Ruth 1:3-18, and 2 Samuel 12:15-25.

Day 2/3: Matt 18:1-2 "At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them."
Matt 18:7 "Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!"
The main theme of these two days are hearts that are broken in childhood. This lesson was tough and more thorough than I am going to be, but here are the 6 main points:
1. Children are the apple of Christ's eye. Matt 18:1-9; Mark 10:16
2. Children are uniquely accompanied by Christ. Matthew 18:5, 10
3. Abuses to children may as well have been personally applied to Christ Matt 18: 5, 10; Zechariah 2:8
4. Christ is never the author of abuse. Matt 18
5. Christ avenges the abuse or victimization of children Matt 18:6-10 This passage is likely referring to childhood victimization for 2 reasons:
a. Christ refers to a person that does something to another or in this case a little one.
b. Christ refers to an action that causes one of these little ones to stumble or "to sin". The point here was that victimization in childhood can dramatically increase certain sins. A person is responsible for his/her own sin, but confession of the sin is not about fault but freedom to heal from the victimization. I Samuel 17:47
Lamentations 3:58-59 "Oh Lord, You have pleaded my soul's cause; You have redeemed my life. Oh Lord, You have seen my oppression; Judge my case."
6. We can sadly assume victimization will continue in this present world system. Matt. 18

Day 4: Psalm 55:12 " If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him."
This day focused on hearts that are broken by betrayal. It states four reasons why Christ is the perfect one to go to when one is betrayed. 1. Christ is sympathetic. 2. Christ knows I am weak 3. Christ has been tempted in every way I have. 4. Christ met my same temptation without sin.
Matthew 26:14-56; Philippians 2:5, 3:10; Colossians 1:24

Day 5: John 11:25 "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live even though he dies'"
This day discusses hearts broken by loss that only Christ can fill. This can be a loss of any kind; friendship, person, change of jobs, home, health, relationships etc.

Well, that is all I have time for today. Until next time.

Why I Buried My Papaw's Slippers

While I was growing up, my family and I would visit my grandparents' farm. I have so many stories about our time on the farm.

When I was in junior high my female cousins and I buried papaw's slippers. Now this wasn't just a prank. We were irritated at him. You see, my Papaw always made the girls clean up after meals, but he never made the boys. To add insult to injury he paid the boys to work in the fields with him, but never paid us for the work we did in the house. Now, because he hated it anytime his slippers weren't in his certain appointed place, we hid them.

Not only did we hide them, but we buried them in the fields.

This didn't make him happy.

Then he decided that he would let us work in the field and he would pay us. On the hottest day in August we put overalls on and pulled weeds. I hated it, but at least we got paid. My papaw thought it was funny and everyone in the family thought "we had learned our lesson." Maybe, but somehow this always bothered me.

These particular grandparents were from the era where the woman was doing very important work managing the home, but her contribution tended to be undervalued. Most of my memories are of my Granny cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner and my Papaw shaking the ice in his empty glass of tea without a word and my Granny filling up his glass. Looking back I realized that my Granny never complained. She would just do little passive aggressive things. She never really ate meals with us. As soon as everyone had what they needed she would scoot to the living room or den to read. I guess that I would do the same thing if I had her life. Then it hit me. I am like my Granny. I do little things to let people know that I am not happy.

I am not mis-treated or devalued by my husband yet I struggle with passive aggressive tendencies. I have a sensitivity when I feel like I am "doing women's work." Sometimes I feel as though certain household tasks I perform every day devalue me, when really they are just things that bless my family. I have no huge reason to feel this way. In fact I have a husband that cooks me breakfast every morning, gets up with me when the baby is crying, and cleans the bath tubs and house frequently. Why am I so defensive?

Looking at my family I realized that my granny is passive aggressive, my mom is passive aggressive, and I have a natural tendency to be passive aggressive. We all have the same reaction to life even though our life circumstances are dissimilar. I started to see a stronghold that goes back many generations.

As I was thinking about this stronghold and my defensive tendencies, a blueness entered my soul. Will my children struggle with the same thing because this is passed down through the generations? Oh, how I long to tear down this stronghold. As I got more time alone last week I gained a clearer picture on how God is at work to help me to tear down this stronghold piece by piece.

God brought me an understanding husband who does so much, which allows me to see small glimpses of just how much God truly loves me.

He brought me friends who encouraged me to think, read, and branch out of my comfort zone. With each new person I learn more about who He is and how I am to love others.

He has allowed circumstances in my life to sharpen me. With each hard time I feel His presence more fully and have a deeper trust in Him.

He has moved around the country numerous times. With each new place I learn to trust Him more fully.

This week I realized that not only is God allowing me to break this generational stronghold so that my children will be free, but that He is blessing me beyond measure.

What a comforting thought.

Breaking Free - Part 4

Week 4 focuses on rebuilding the ancient ruins. It helps explore the "older ruins" in our lives and how God wants to transform bad moments or events in our lives for His glory.

Day 1: Isaiah 61:4 -"They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations."
This day explores generational strongholds that sometimes are hard to recognize in our own lives because they seem "normal". There are 2 major points to this day:
1. Even Christ had a blend of the negative and positive in his lineage; Galatians 3:26-29; Psalm 16:6.
2. We don't have to disinherit or dishonor our physical lineage to fully accept and abide in our spiritual lineage. This section reviewed the 5 benefits we have in our relationship with Christ and then explored what are the positive and negative traits of your physical lineage.

Day 2: Proverbs 22:28- "Do not move an ancient boundary stone set up by your forefathers." This day started by exploring God's command as the ultimate ancient boundary stones or the ten commandments as a plan to keep God's people out of slavery. These commands were a reminder to God's people where the line was that shouldn't be crossed. Some points about bondage: 1. All bondage begins with sin and 2. All bondage promotes sin.
Exodus 20:5 discuss generational sin. God does not punish children for their parents' sin, but we are able to see the effects of the parents' sin in the next several generations. This verse follows the command where there are to be no idols before God. It is a warning that when the parents are enslaved to idols they teach their children the same bondage.

Day 3: 2 Corinthians 2:11- "In order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes." This day discusses the role of Satan in keeping all of us in bondage. Luke 4:13, Rev 12:9; 2 Cor 11:3. The idea is that Satan loves to take advantage of generational bondage, particularly with unforgiveness in the children. A final point of the day was that the sins of the fathers increase the vulnerability of the children.

Day 4: Ezekiel 18:19 "'Yet you ask, "Why does the son not share the guilt of his father?" Since the son has done what is just and right and has been careful to keep all my decrees, he will surely live'"
This day we studied Ezekiel chapter 18 and it had 3 major points on how to rebuild an ancient ruin:
1. Agree to take an honest look back Phil 3:13; Ezek 18:14,31; Prov 30:11
2. Believe the truth over the enemy's lies Jeremiah 18
3. Discern the difference between rebuilding and preserving the ancient ruins. Isaiah 61:1-4

Day 5: Isaiah 43:12-13 "I have revealed and saved and proclaimed--I, and not some foreign god among you. You are my witnesses,' declared the Lord, 'that I am God. Yes, and from ancient days I am He.'"
Psalm 78:1-8- there were two major points to this day: 1. Every generation has a new opportunity to exert a positive influence and 2. Between every unfaithful generation and faithful generation is one person determined to change.
Exodus 20:6 the lesson ends with this verse and an encouragement that one who is righteous can bless hundreds of generations.

Well, that is all I can do today. I have many personal thoughts that are not formed well enough to write out yet. Until next time.

Breaking Free 2-3

I am behind because I have been out of town so I am going to combine weeks 2-3 lessons. They correlate nicely by day. Week 2 goes through the five benefits that God has given to His children. While week 3 goes through some obstacles that stand in the way of us enjoying the above mentioned benefits. Each of the benefits correlates with one of the obstacles that keeps us from enjoying the benefits.

Day 1: Isaiah 43: 10-13 To know God and to believe him correlates with the obstacle of unbelief. Genesis 15:6 and Romans 4:3 cites how Abraham's belief was accounted to him as righteousness. The study uses the story found in Mark 9:22 when a man who cries to God to help his unbelief.

Day 2: Isaiah 43:7 To Glorify God correlates with the obstacle of pride. (Isaiah 57:15, Isaiah 42:8, Jeremiah 13:15-17). It goes through many verses on pride and the how we are to glorify God. The Hebrew word for glory is kavedh meaning to be renowned or to show oneself mighty. In other words God's glory is the way He makes Himself known and recognizable. When we have pride we are unable to be used by God to show glory to others.

Day 3: To Find Satisfaction in God (Isaiah 55:2) correlates with the obstacle of idolatry (Isaiah 44:10) An idol is anything that is put above or in place of God in our lives. Isaiah saw rampant idolatry in Israel and they ultimately reaped shame (Isaiah 44:6-23).

Day 4: To experience God's peace (Isaiah 48:18) correlates with the obstacle of prayerlessness (Isaiah 56:5-7) The study went through Phil 4:6-7 and the teacher did a lot of discussion on prayer in the main session with 1 Cor 10:13. Prayer helps to change our passion. Sometimes we hold onto habits and patterns in our lives because we deep down don't really want to give this particular thing up. The basic idea is that prayer changes our passions so that we are choosing to and ultimately want to be free. Prayer also creates a partnership with our Lord.

Day 5: To enjoy God's presence correlates with the obstacle of legalism. (Isaiah 29:14) The basis of this is that we are not able to enjoy His presence (Psalm 139:7-12 and Hebrews 13:5) when we replace Him with rules, performance, and details.

That is the basic outline with not a lot of detail, but it helped me review and refresh. Until next time.

Breaking Free- Part 1 (warning-long post)

The other day someone asked me how I was dealing with my post-partum depression. I wasn't and am not quite ready to answer that question because I am still dealing with it. I can say that it is much better, that I no longer feel like I am the deepest darkest hole, but I still can't say that "it's gone", or "I've dealt with it" because I feel like there is residual sadness that is hanging around trying to overtake me at times.

This depression demon that is chasing me made me realize that I have a longing for a bible study that will help me study the Word of God. I have been going to a mom's group, but that group focused more on fellowship. I love this group for this fellowship, but was looking to add something deeper. I discovered a local bible study taught by someone I heard speak in college. I bought the workbook and have been going to the study after I put down the baby at night and the husband is there to watch him. I get there late, but it is incredibly good and I usually walk in right when the teacher begins her prayer. (This week I got there in time for worship and it was wonderful).

The study is about freedom and centers on the themes that are found in Isaiah. I am still formulating my thoughts and doing the homework to see how all this is going to lead to breaking down strongholds so I have decided to summarize each week's homework to help me clarify and learn.

Once a week I will review the last week's lesson and hopefully by the end God will have taught me how to finish breaking free of this depression that hangs over me. Feel free to pass over these posts as I am doing it more for my thought process than anything else. Since I am a week behind we'll start with the first week's lesson:

The first lesson goes through the four kings that reigned over Judah during Isaiah's ministry. These kings were Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah.

2 Chron. 26 - King Uzziah was the first king that reigned during Isaiah's lifetime who walked with God. He became king when he was seventeen years old. When he became strong his heart became proud and he was unfaithful to the Lord his God by entering the temple to burn incense on the altar. When he was arguing with the priests beside the altar he became leprous and was a leper until his death. In the year of Uzziah's death Isaiah received his call from the Lord (Isaiah 6:1)

2 Chron. 27 / Isaiah 6:1 - King Jotham the son of Uzziah became king and did right in the sight of the Lord like his father, however he did not enter the temple of the Lord (I love this; if you were Uzziah's son would you have entered the temple?) Unfortunately, the people continued to act corruptly in part to the King's failure to remove the high places where the people worshiped pagan gods. (2 Kings 15:32-35)

2 Chron. 28 - King Ahaz reigned after his father and did not do right in the sight of the Lord. He made molten images, burned his sons in the fire, burned incense in the valleys, and sacrificed and burned incense on the high places. Azah did not cry out to God even when God told him to ask for a sign. Even though Azaz would not ask for a sign, God gave him a sign in Isaiah 7: 1-13. God then gives him a sign in vs 14-25 that includes the prophesy of the Immanuel.

2 Chron. 29-32 - Hezekiah was the fourth king. He was a king that did right in the sight of the Lord. He not only walked with the Lord, but he tore down the high places. Hezekiah was the king that when he was fatally ill and destined to die called upon God to save him and God gave him fifteen more years. During these fifteen years pride hit Hezekiah hard and he showed off all of his treasure to the King of Babylon. I find it interesting that Hezekiah did not give glory to his God who had blessed him with not only abundant treasure, but added years to his life (Isaiah 39) The Lord then tells Hezekiah that in return all that Hezekiah has stored up will be carried to Babylon in his son's time. Hezekiah (in my opinion, selfishly) responds that at least it won't be in his time.

The last day of the workbook study ties it all together. Isaiah chapters 1-35 tell about the rebellion of God's people and the threat of the neighboring Assyrians against both the Northern (Israel) and Southern Kingdoms (Judah). Chapters 36-39 tell how Hezekiah responded rightly to God and defeated the Assyrians, but also doomed the Southern Kingdom to captivity at the hands of Babylon. In Chapter 40-66 the comfort and freedom theme emerges. Here are the 3 points of the last day of study: 1. God hears the cries of the oppressed 2. God fulfills Isaiah 61:1-4 in Christ alone, and 3. Christ's ministry is a ministry of the heart. I could describe this more, but the post is really long.

This week helped me to understand the bigger picture of Isaiah. I had always tried to read Isaiah and figure out why this book was so important with all of its prophesies, but it was overwhelming and burdensome every time I would start on my own. It makes much more sense now that I know that the first part is (and this is simplified) about rebellion and captivity while the second is the comfort and freedom that ultimately is through Christ alone. Wow, that makes Isaiah seem so simple.

More to come...this is a ten week series.